confused.

I just realised how much it would kill me if all my friends we're against someone i loved(in a relationship with)  makes me feel really horrible inside knowing i was one of them. 

But. On the other hand i'd prob question what they were saying, wouldn't you? I mean they are your friends, they know you better than anyone and for some reason they do not like your bf/gf. So in all honesty i don't feel that bad anymore because you seem to think your the only one that matters. Me? i could never do that.  my friends are my whole world. they are everything. i listen to what they say because i care what they think. i know, since they are my friends that they want me to be happy and why would they want anything else. 

so in conclusion, yes. i would question a relationship if my friends had a problem. 

but before i did anything stupid and rash or hurt people. I would calmly listen to their side of the story and go from there. 

idk why this came up, and its not what everyones thinking. 

I guess i am guilty of writing what i really want to say to someones face again =/  eh well. It better getting it out here, then hurting more people. 

pissed.

shot for screwing up half the plan !

pretty much the worst thing you could do and you did it. 

now let me sit here and be pissed off and like normal think of ways to fix it. 

Maybe,

you'll like me back. 

and,

maybe,

you'll like, like me...

as not just a root.

tired.

Missing someone isn't about how long it has been since you've seen them or the amount of time since you've talked. It's about that very moment when you're doing something and wishing they were right there with you.

freaked out.

"I am so fucking shit scared of you" 

how do you tell someone that?

More importantly. How do you tell their bf thats how you feel.

ill.

Man, i wish i could be straight up with everyone.

But i just feel really mean.

We keep asking people if we look intimidating, but i actually think we are. (espleshly me)

i'm pissed off by people so easy that i really don't like many people outside my group(s).

i've created this massive wall around me so i'm safe and no-one can touch me. 

these walls are built by trust.

so if anyone (ANYONE) breaks my trust...

their gone......

The real freaky thing is, its true. 

e.g. jenny 

=/

i miss you. 

do you miss me?

giddy.

I know i've got to play it cool,
but its so goddamn exciting! 

cheerful!

new new new

happy happy happy

:D 

better.

Hi you're name is? lizzie Have you ever had a best friend of the opposite sex? hellz yeah Tell us about your best friend? if its fucked up- he's seen it. hes also showed you it and told you about it till you know it off by heart. You see your ex and he/she tells you they miss you & you say? pfft you gay. When you're bored in class, what do you usually do? get out my ipod. start acting real sercasticly intrested. If you are being extremely quiet what does that mean?i'm thinking. really hard. or i don't know what to say so i'm still thinking really hard. What are you supposed to be doing right now? going to bed.  Have you kissed one person more than 10 times in 2009? probs :( Do you think anyone has feelings for you? nahhh Who was the last person of the opposite sex you had a conversation with? TYMON xD If someone cheated on you, would you take them back if you really loved them?  I really dunno, i think i'd suggest a break and then decide.  Are you happy with the way things are going? i think so.  Are you wearing jeans , shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants? nope ha Do you believe teenagers can be in love and stay in love? yep. i've seen it. What were you doing at 2am last night? sleeping. Do you always answer your phone? call? mostly. i NEVER answer the home phone. Who is the last person you got a text from? georgia. Are you waiting for anything? yeah, in a way. Do you look older than you are? nope. apparently i look younger. yuss. not. Have you ever wished on a shooting star? nah, i never seen one. What's your favorite memory of all time? me & tj walking down his old street smoking a j each.  idk but this is the most happist i think i can remember being. Did you have any unread text messages when you woke up today and what did it say? "hey man what do you have next?" Do you think about the past? alot. try not to its rather gay. What did you do last nite? was it good? walked to video eazy got out wall.E watched it, fell asleep. When's the last time you cried? last night. Would it be more likely of you to fail Science or Math? science. hands down ahha Kill the spider or let it out? FUCKING STOMP ON THAT SHIT URGH GROSS. Are you nice to everyone? nah. some people don't get what they have done wrong and/or are really fucking slow. Do you think you will have the same best friend a year from now? there is no-way of answering that. knowing him, there is no possible way of knowing.

dear god.

emma cole says:
 do nose rings strech you're nose hole?

determined

I can't believe i'm really actually saying this:

But i want my tattoo now, 

-that was not the thing i couldn't believe, the reason why is.

I WANT TO FEEL REAL

i want to have something be but into me that will still be there tomorrow, 

and the next day

and the next day

and the day after that.

just to prove i am infact 

alive?

holding on

one day i will be okay, and i know i will come, soon i think. if i know myself well enough.
its happened before thats how i know its comming, and its gonna happen when i'm sober and it will be fucking amazing. the thing is i can wait for it though, i think it will be a while yet but just knowing its on its way is good enough. i wouldnt want it to happen straight away. that would fuck too much shit up aye.

on edge, anything could set me off.

i'm gonna go round to Video Eazy and get Wall.E out, i hope its open, or might cry.

You're dying, you only have time to listen to one last song. What is it?

faith by A day To Remember

Ask me anything

If your life was a novel, what would the title be?

Oh Dear God or I Have To Pee

Ask me anything

What's your favourite item of clothing?

black tights

Ask me anything

What's your biggest regret?

being young and dumb, and screwing up something that would have been amazing.

Ask me anything

What personality trait do you hate most?

unreliable

Ask me anything

the day after

it's actually like I have a whole new perspective on everything. I'm more careful and take my time before rushing into things. ether that or I've just switched onto auto pilot and I'm still just rolling with it. last night I was full on in auto pilot I know for a fact. I didn't remember thinking or feeling anything once I was in the car I was just focusing on this one thing and didn't see anything else around me and you know what. it all worked out. everything I did was right and everything was as I expected. I am very freakaly very very very calm.