giddy.

I know i've got to play it cool,
but its so goddamn exciting! 

cheerful!

new new new

happy happy happy

:D 

better.

Hi you're name is? lizzie Have you ever had a best friend of the opposite sex? hellz yeah Tell us about your best friend? if its fucked up- he's seen it. hes also showed you it and told you about it till you know it off by heart. You see your ex and he/she tells you they miss you & you say? pfft you gay. When you're bored in class, what do you usually do? get out my ipod. start acting real sercasticly intrested. If you are being extremely quiet what does that mean?i'm thinking. really hard. or i don't know what to say so i'm still thinking really hard. What are you supposed to be doing right now? going to bed.  Have you kissed one person more than 10 times in 2009? probs :( Do you think anyone has feelings for you? nahhh Who was the last person of the opposite sex you had a conversation with? TYMON xD If someone cheated on you, would you take them back if you really loved them?  I really dunno, i think i'd suggest a break and then decide.  Are you happy with the way things are going? i think so.  Are you wearing jeans , shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants? nope ha Do you believe teenagers can be in love and stay in love? yep. i've seen it. What were you doing at 2am last night? sleeping. Do you always answer your phone? call? mostly. i NEVER answer the home phone. Who is the last person you got a text from? georgia. Are you waiting for anything? yeah, in a way. Do you look older than you are? nope. apparently i look younger. yuss. not. Have you ever wished on a shooting star? nah, i never seen one. What's your favorite memory of all time? me & tj walking down his old street smoking a j each.  idk but this is the most happist i think i can remember being. Did you have any unread text messages when you woke up today and what did it say? "hey man what do you have next?" Do you think about the past? alot. try not to its rather gay. What did you do last nite? was it good? walked to video eazy got out wall.E watched it, fell asleep. When's the last time you cried? last night. Would it be more likely of you to fail Science or Math? science. hands down ahha Kill the spider or let it out? FUCKING STOMP ON THAT SHIT URGH GROSS. Are you nice to everyone? nah. some people don't get what they have done wrong and/or are really fucking slow. Do you think you will have the same best friend a year from now? there is no-way of answering that. knowing him, there is no possible way of knowing.

dear god.

emma cole says:
 do nose rings strech you're nose hole?

determined

I can't believe i'm really actually saying this:

But i want my tattoo now, 

-that was not the thing i couldn't believe, the reason why is.

I WANT TO FEEL REAL

i want to have something be but into me that will still be there tomorrow, 

and the next day

and the next day

and the day after that.

just to prove i am infact 

alive?

holding on

one day i will be okay, and i know i will come, soon i think. if i know myself well enough.
its happened before thats how i know its comming, and its gonna happen when i'm sober and it will be fucking amazing. the thing is i can wait for it though, i think it will be a while yet but just knowing its on its way is good enough. i wouldnt want it to happen straight away. that would fuck too much shit up aye.

on edge, anything could set me off.

i'm gonna go round to Video Eazy and get Wall.E out, i hope its open, or might cry.

You're dying, you only have time to listen to one last song. What is it?

faith by A day To Remember

Ask me anything

If your life was a novel, what would the title be?

Oh Dear God or I Have To Pee

Ask me anything

What's your favourite item of clothing?

black tights

Ask me anything

What's your biggest regret?

being young and dumb, and screwing up something that would have been amazing.

Ask me anything

What personality trait do you hate most?

unreliable

Ask me anything

the day after

it's actually like I have a whole new perspective on everything. I'm more careful and take my time before rushing into things. ether that or I've just switched onto auto pilot and I'm still just rolling with it. last night I was full on in auto pilot I know for a fact. I didn't remember thinking or feeling anything once I was in the car I was just focusing on this one thing and didn't see anything else around me and you know what. it all worked out. everything I did was right and everything was as I expected. I am very freakaly very very very calm.

worried

I am worried about you young one, and I want to help in anyway I can but you won't let me =\ I love you and I want you to be happy. please let me help please

do people write blogs to have a place to say all the shit they can't say to peoples faces?

because i think hipocritictly i do,  i pride myself in saying exactly whats on my mind whenever i please. 

but i have discovered that this is impossible without hurting people, loosing peoples trust, and making situations awkward.

i am still not sure why all this bothers me now, why not before?

oh shit. 

thats right,  ahha in the midst of writing this i have realised it is because:

I AM TRYING SO FUCKING HARD TO NOT PISS YOU OFF AND STAY ON YOUR GOOD SIDE BECAUSE YOUR LEAVING AND 

AND 

AND 

yes.

I don't know what i'm doing,
99% sure i'm so fucked up in the head.
Nothing. NOTHING seems weird anymore.
Nothings Fucked up, or Gross.
Nothing is out of the picture, and your wildest dreams are possible.

actualy thats just gay.  scratch that.
i'm so fucked up. 

idk =/

1 week

i wish my cellphone number would change,
i'm telling you, if my number was not my name and i didn't change it to that myself
i would totally right now ring up and change the number.
i think people should, every couple of years change there numbers.
idk just seems like a good thing to do, to stop old things from your past creeping up on you.
you know?
cause theres nothing worse then that annoying girl who texts you everyday saying "wht u up2"
 or that gross as guy who liked you 3 years ago you played a prank on but still occasionaly texts you.
its annoying as shit.
also crazy bitches who are ruining my mates life, stop lying. please die now. shot.

worried.

where are you ? 

=/

tired.

"whatever you want ___, i'm tired of defending myself when i've done nothing wrong. Tbh its like fighting with freya. Its also funny you do this to me regularly when i find out almost everyday you've lied to me about something, or just "forgotten" to tell me something. ily but its killing me."

its what i'm going to say, but, i hope it don't come to that again.
:(